


Hubris

by SquareFriend



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: A fuck ton of trauma, Existential Crisis, Hallucinations, I just felt like hurting Gaster today, Memory Loss, Memory Suppression, One Shot, Surreal, Temporary Character Death, The Void, W. D. Gaster Needs a Hug, this twink gets obliterated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 10:34:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30020451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquareFriend/pseuds/SquareFriend
Summary: The world has forgotten the name Dr. W.D. Gaster. And, after all these years in this abandoned place, so has he.
Kudos: 4





	Hubris

The man stands on a catwalk, clutching the railing so hard it hurts. 

What..? When did he…?

The sea advances below him. A turning, twisting, bubbling thing. It’s depth is unknown. A blinding white, frothy magic completely covers it’s writhing surface. 

It’s so close now, he can almost touch it. 

He grips the railing tighter. It feels as though his bones will snap, but he keeps his hold. 

The power below him is unfathomable, even in this bleary, half awake state he’s found himself in. The endless potential of this place flies through his waking mind, countless theories and hypothesis about how he can use it. 

It’s almost tantalizing how afraid he is. 

He knows not where this terror comes from. He would’ve thought the possibilities brought by such a power source would be more exuberating. 

He should be feeling differently. He should be feeling certain and concise, excited to solve this mystery. He has never known himself to be afraid of such powerful, intriguing things. 

But then again, he has never known himself. 

The man furrows a brow, trying to uncover what he is so sorely missing. 

He is a man on a catwalk, surrounded by an all consuming power source. Those facts are all that there is. 

The man bites down panic, eyes weaving wildly to his sides. The catwalk stretches endlessly in either direction, fading into the fog seeping up from that awful sea. 

Name, occupation, family- They all escape him. He returns his gaze to the churning magic beneath him, a desperate hope that something will resurface. When did he-

“Ah. You’re awake.”

The vastness beneath him hums, it’s awful voice completely surrounding him in a chorus of ambience. 

It… It sounds familiar in a way he cannot place. 

Some unique tone, a garbled out language that few have heard and even fewer know. He can swear he’s used it before. Only, when coming from beneath him it is more distorted. Warped until it bares only the slightest semblance. 

“What-“ The man starts, before the words catch in his throat. 

Ah. That’s how he knows it. 

He wants to put a questioning hand to his throat. He wants to examine why such a tongue would be escaping his own chest. He wants to know what is going on. 

But he cannot remove his hands from that railing. He cannot imagine what will happen if he releases himself from it’s safety net. 

“I.. I don’t-“

“Understand? You never really understand the things you are about to do before you do them. Do you?”

The- His own voice finally focuses itself into one place, settling directly beneath the catwalk. He can feel it through his feet as it chides him. 

“Do I need to?” He cannot believe he’s found himself defending such a matter, yet he keeps going. “I’m a scientist, not a prophet. How else is one to learn about his field, if not through discovery?”

“Discovery, perhaps… but reckless abandon is less… favorable wouldn't you think?”

A twinge of irritation finds its way through the fear, forcing a twitch in his hands and a stitch in his brow. 

Who is this voice to be the rapture of a man who knows not his own sins?

How can it possibly judge a character that does not yet exist? To the extent of both of their knowledge, he is innocent in these claims! He doesn’t even know why he’s encouraging it with such nonsense. 

“Let’s not be so self righteous now, Doctor. Do not forget where you are.”

His eyes return to the rising tide, a confused terror flashing once more behind them. 

It can hear his thoughts now? Or… has it always been able to do that. He wishes he could clear away the static long enough to remember what that means. 

“Er… My apologies.” He finds his words, choosing them as carefully as he can manage, “But-“

“-But you still believe that you are above consequences….” It’s sigh crackles through the air, enough that he can nearly feel his own chest falling. “Even after all of this.”

“It was an accident!” The man cracks back, fingers tightening around the railing to an excruciating pressure. 

He has no idea why he says it, aside from a lingering vertigo and the faintest, dreamlike smell of electricity. And yet, it’s enough to make the ambience pause for a moment. 

He’s about to take a breath; to pry his fingers from their vice grip. Maybe to try and figure out where he is-

“...It always is, isn’t it?” Infinity purs; an awful, almost laughed out sound, “You always have an excuse or an out. It’s… It’s almost impressive.”

The man feels his jaw tighten, something squirming in the back of his mind. The slightest hints of what might just be a memory. He clings to it. 

“I didn’t mean to-“

“Does it matter?” The nothingness snaps, sending a flinch through his body, “No matter the intention, your fate is the same.”

“It has to matter.“ The man feels a tremble start to sneak into his voice, though whether it is through fear or desperation he cannot tell. “A man cannot be charged for an unforeseen contingency! He can’t be held accountable when he himself was unwilling in the crime. 

“Of course he can.” The sea churns, beginning to rise once more, “And even if he can’t, you are no such man.”

The start of an argument builds in the man’s throat, then promptly dies. He leans his head back, a weighted sigh escaping him.

Before he can get out another thought, the nothingness pipes up again. It’s voice has found a new spot, surrounding him like a haze once more. 

“If you need any more proof, than just look at what you’ve done to yourself.”

The man feels his expression melt into one of confusion, the starts of a ‘what’ pooling from his teeth. 

Then he sees them. 

His eyes naturally tilt down, staring pointedly at his first in a long line of accidents. His chest tightens as he stares down at them, a sharp inhale forcing its way into his cramped ribs. 

Twin holes smile up at him, cut savagely into his palms. 

He rips his hands from the railing, holding them up in a numb attempt to get a better look. They seem so familiar. He should remember where they came from- 

He can’t believe he’s never noticed them. He’s always just stared past them, focusing on the churning mass beneath him. How has he never-

What did he do?

His back hits the other side of the catwalk, and he uses it to support himself. 

Something is still squirming at the back of his mind, begging him to remember that those scars aren’t even the worst of what he’s done. 

What did he do?

He hasn’t the faintest idea, aside from the slightest half memories of forgotten dreams. Vertigo. Fire. Electricity. Power. Pain. Someone’s face, possibly his own. 

He wants to scream. But he knows that such a thing is useless in this place.

“I-I didn’t….” He stammers, trying to form those not-memories into some sort of coherent picture, “This wasn’t… This wasn’t supposed to happen!”

“You’re running in circles.” The ambience consumes him, his own voice so loud now that he can feel it buzzing in his bones. “How many times do you have to have this conversation before you get it through that thick skull?”

He has to brace himself again. The sea bellow churns violently, splashing high enough to threaten reaching the catwalk. 

“Wha… What?” He gets out, hating how helpless the words sound. 

“How long have you been talking to yourself out here?” The voice continues, finding itself within his skull. “How many times do you have to do this before you just confess?”

The ambience roars, it’s sea ebbing agonizingly closer. Somewhere, far off, the metal of the catwalk groans. One of the waves finally makes it past the railing, pouring out onto his haven. He can see the inky blackness hidden beneath those opalescent bubbles. 

It’s agonizing. 

The man stays rooted where he is, one hand drifting up to his aching skull. Even through his numbing fingers, he can feel the cracks he’s put there. 

“Ah well. You got what you wanted didn’t you?” His thoughts hum, nearly bringing him to his knees. Infinity is lapping at his heels now. He cannot allow himself to drop. 

“Congratulations. You changed the world.”

He’s vaguely aware of the catwalk screaming beneath the power of such an ocean. He’s even less aware of it’s once infantate length corroding beneath the powerful waves. 

He remains fixed where he is, letting his hands drop from their grip at the other side of the railing. He knows not how, but he’s started to calm. 

The catwalk lets out one last agonized groan. 

The ambience buzzes to a deafening crescendo. 

He can’t tell if he’s falling or drowning. 

He’s consumed by the darkness, but puts up little fight. Even when he can feel himself being stretched and pulled, shattered into a thousand pieces before being forced back together.

He cannot fight the feeling that this agony has happened before and will happen again. He wishes he knew where such a thought came from. 

He can’t seem to remember anything these days. 

The buzzing in his bones calms him enough that he doesn’t fight when that thought slips away too. He could float here for the rest of eternity. 

Perhaps he already has. 

It doesn’t matter. He’s slipping away again. 

Rising this time. Though, concepts like up and down don't exist anymore. He doesn’t know if they ever have. 

A bright spot makes its way through the all consuming haze. It hurts his eyes after being in the dark for so long, so he closes them. 

His mind drifts off again, he lets himself fade once more.

Finally, he brings himself to crack open his sockets, stumbling forewords in a dazed confusion. 

The man stands on a catwalk, clutching the railing so hard it hurts. 

What..? When did he…?

**Author's Note:**

> So this was kinda just a lil drabble I’ve been working on between bigger projects! I’m actually quite proud of how this thing turned out, as weird and trippy as it is! If you have any questions or anything, lemme know in the comments bellow! 
> 
> Have a nice night!


End file.
